Many of you probably imagine writers slaving away in an upstairs bedroom that doubles as an office, or crouched over a laptop at the kitchen table. This is often the case, but here at Cooper Towers I am fortunate to have the support and assistance of a team of dedicated professionals as I work. It’s only fair to give credit where it is due, so here they are, my trusty assistants without whom I would get my work done in half the time.
Title: Office manager
Job Description: Ensuring the author’s chair is adequately warmed, which includes maintaining the temperature by occupying the seat the moment it is vacated. Here he is in action, in his secondary role as stationery monitor.
He also ensures the author takes regular tea-breaks by periodically walking into her office and leaning against her leg to remind her that it is time to go into the kitchen
and open the back door for him. When she’s particularly busy (or on the phone) he flogs her with his tail to make sure she gets the message.
Title: Editorial assistant
Job Description: Assisting the author by lying across pages of proofs so she doesn’t lose her place, and maintaining office tidiness by sweeping the desk surface with her tail to ensure it remains clear of impediments such as pencils, to-do lists and pages of notes. She is also responsible for filing, which is achieved by pouncing on, shoving her paws into and kicking the crap out of any pile of paper that needs sorting.
Tinkerbell takes her role very seriously and insists that her importance is properly acknowledged by positioning herself between keyboard and screen whenever possible.